it didn't feel like I did that much.

I've been working on getting my layout gallerys sorted out and updating my scrapbook resume  - all the little things I've neglected over the last year or so. Especially as I ease back into scrapbooking and trying to catch up on my memroies before I lost them. - my brain is like a sieve at the best of times. Also its hard when the physical layouts and albums are 5,000 miles away is a storage unit in Canada so its nice to have the images to look at.

Often I look at my peers and see how much work they do for Manufacturers or Kits, see how many of their layouts get published and where they are on thier creative journey and I think that maybe I should have done more, that I should have pushed more but that really isn't who I am.

It was all going down hill on the whole ego thing till Ian pointed out that my first layout was published in a magazine nearly 8 years ago and that I've has something published in print every  year since then. I think sometimes I forget that I've had that joy and that opportunity that not everyone gets and that has made me feel a bit guilty and humble at the same time. It also made me think that maybe there are people out there that get what I create, that they appreciate that I don't follow the latest trend or the latest technique, that I just get one with doing what I do to make me happy and if in turn that makes someone else happy - all the better.

and then to top it all off, I got a lovely message from someone who just connected the dots between my article in a Taiwan Tattoo magazine a few years back and the fact it was the same person that was on the My Minds Eye design team. He told me that he got into scrapbooking because of my tattoo articles without realising that I was the same person his sister liked from the My Minds Eye design team - the fact I had could balance the sides of me will still being me and my layouts still being similar made his day.

In the scrapbook industry, there will always be the favourites, the big trends and the big producers, there will always be the one who can create those pieces that know the socks off everyone, the one that make people beg, borrow, steal the ideas and supplies. There will always be those that just rise that much more than others becuase of talent, hardwork and dedication.

I am blessed that I know some of those people personally and professionally, I am blessed that I have watched people grow and develop and figure out a way to make their love of a craft into a major event - I love seeing that -I love seeing people go from scrapbooking to mixed media and the other way around too. I love seeing people explore new ideas, new avenues, new adventures - thats what being creative is all about.

I have been amazed everytime I get asked to be on a design team or part of a blog - I don't think I will ever lose that sense of "what, me?" becuase everyday this is my journey, my memories and my art. I am just very grateful when other people like it enough to say so.

I am learning that I am enough, that what i create is enough and my journey is enough for me. anything that comes along that can blend in with that journey is a bonus but is not the reason I do this. The reason I scrapbook is simple - my memory is sieve and my kids need to know the stories. I make layouts that try to express emotion and then I try and make them pretty.

So I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone whose been there along the way, who have left lovely comments or bought products becuase I showed them off. Thank you for your support and encouragement and the ass kicking when I needed it and hopefully you'll be around for the next steps as I get back into this crafting lark.

Comments

[Maria]

Ahhh Anam. You and I are sure on the same page (pun intended). As you know I have arrived at a similar place in my scrapbooking journey. I began to realise that taking it all so seriously was sucking the fun out of it for me. I'd go to scrap a childhood memory but get frustrated because "I can't use that product because its not the right brand/it's too old/etc". I've taken it back to what it's meant to be about: preserving memories for my family. Now I can really put my heart and soul into it and that's what I need right now. I don't need to impress anyone. I might still submit to some magazines. If they like what I do that's good. If they don't, I won't mind. Enjoy what you do and keep it real. x

[Lythan]

that is such a beautiful and humble blog post. I'm a bit choked for you about the email that you received - how fantastic! To be talented but also being able to remember the real reason for scrapping in the first place - those are gifts to be prized

[Kate Blue]

I agree with all you've said-but I gotta say that not all the "well knowns" are friendly like you-some of them are very snotty and would never associate with "non-published" regulars (trust me, this is what I hear from my friends)...I wish the industry would mix up the talent but don't get me started! I try to maintain that balance-yes I want to be published more, bit damn, it is stressful creating stuff for them so I limit what I submit to every other year. I still wish you'd come back in some form :):)

[Lee-Anne]

I loved your post Anam. It really touched my heart. You are amazing and your art is amazing! You were the first person who believed in me and gave me the confidence to explore my creativity. I will never forget that and how you made me feel. I am so glad that you are getting back into scrapbooking and look so forward to being inspired by you. Have a wonderful day!